she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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