Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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