I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
