he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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