I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
