You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
