1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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