Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
