i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
