Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
