She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
