well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
