Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
