he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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