I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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