he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
