he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
