Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
