you lied. pity sex is amazing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
