why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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