Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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