I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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