Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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