I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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