either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
