well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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