every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
