If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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