We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Found your dick twin last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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