And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize
