I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
