ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
