Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
