Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
