the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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