the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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