this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
