This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You have to summon your inner elephant
We have so much sex to catch up on
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
