so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
