I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
