Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
