u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
