We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
