how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i already hear my dad disowning me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
