Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
