How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
