I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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