Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
