Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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