doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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