I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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